“Why do many of us suffer so much mentally?” asked a man in an online community for men’s mental health. He got a variety of responses:
“Loneliness is the root cause, I think.”
“When you can’t provide, you’re no longer needed and you’re discarded. . . so you shut up emotionally and force yourself through whatever you have to do to provide.”
Because being miserable is now considered manly and finding joy in things is portrayed as a sign of weakness, a fellow member explained.
“Men were never taught or never learned how to understand and deal with their own feelings,” offered another. This failing leads them to fall into addictions, self-loathing, and blaming others for their challenges, he added.
Stigma and cultural expectations keep men from seeking support
Indeed, loneliness, lack of connection, self-doubt, lack of purpose, spiraling emotions, work-related stress, and rejection are common struggles shared anonymously by men in online spaces. In sharing their stories, many men say they’re searching for validation, empathy, guidance, and relief from shame, guilt, and feeling lost.
That’s not surprising in a society that discourages men from expressing their emotions or showing vulnerability. They’re told to “man up” or “just deal with it”—that discussing their mental health challenges is a sign of weakness. Cultural expectations around masculinity, coupled with the stigma surrounding mental health, often inhibit men from speaking up about their struggles or seeking professional support.
In fact, although nearly one in 10 men experience symptoms of depression or anxiety, less than half will receive treatment. Men are less likely than women to seek mental health support and almost 4 times more likely than women to die from suicide. Similarly, according to the 2023 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, about 12% of males ages 12 and older had an alcohol use disorder in the past year, compared to about 8% of females ages 12 and older.
Men need evidence-based mental health support before they feel hopeless
Online communities might offer a relief valve for men suffering with stress, anxiety, depression or other challenges. But these forums are not a trustworthy or reliable source of support for mental health challenges, and they’re often used by men who already feel hopeless. Men need evidence-based mental health support before they reach a point of despair or hopelessness—which calls for innovative approaches that help break through stigma and other barriers. Employers can play a vital role in helping men access the right support.
Calm Health evidence-based programs offer accessible, confidential mental health support
Calm Health has launched two evidence-based programs designed specifically to support the mental health and well-being of men. The programs are authored by Dr. Fredric E. Rabinowitz, a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology at the University of Redlands, and Daniel Ellenberg, PhD, a licensed therapist and founder of the Strength with Heart men’s groups and workshops. Dr. Ellenberg is a former president of the American Psychological Association’s division on men and masculinities and leads the Men and Boys Compassion Coalition. Dr. Rabinowitz has authored five books, including Deepening Group Psychotherapy with Men: Stories and Insights for the Journey.
Men can access Calm Health programs anytime, via smartphone or laptop, with full privacy and confidentiality. What’s more, the programs directly tackle mental health stigma and myths about masculinity, helping men overcome these barriers to care.
Decoding Masculinity & Mental Health
The first program, Decoding Masculinity & Mental Health, explores the unique mental health challenges men face today. At the outset, listeners hear the message that they don’t need to ignore their feelings, contrary to what they might have been taught. Then, in each of the program’s sessions, they learn supportive strategies for dealing with difficult emotions, societal expectations, and life’s inevitable curveballs. In the process, they may form a new understanding of what positive mental health means and how it relates to their beliefs about masculinity.
Sessions in Decoding Masculinity & Mental Health are:
- Why “men’s mental health” anyway?
- What’s Unique About Men’s Mental Health?
- How to Build Resilience
- Dealing with Anger
- Going Easy on Yourself is Hard Work
Men and Relationships
The second program, Men and Relationships, helps men understand that they don’t need to take on life’s challenges alone and often at the cost of their mental health. Each of the sessions walks through proven methods to help men connect with others to support their mental health and strength.
Sessions in Men & Relationships are:
- Let’s get real for a second
- The Strength of Being Vulnerable
- Wired to Connect
- Developing Healthy Male Relationships
- Skills for Challenging Conversations
To boost engagement, Calm Health helps navigate men to these evidence-based programs, as appropriate, based on the results of their Calm Health mental health screening. The screening uses questions from the Patient Health Questionnaire 9 (PHQ-9), a screening for depression symptoms, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD-7), a screening for anxiety symptoms. At the conclusion of the questionnaire, Calm recommends a combination of clinical programs, mindfulness content, and external resources aligned to the individual’s screening responses.
(Note: This screening is not intended to diagnose depression or anxiety nor is it a substitute for care by a physician or other health care provider. It is only available to U.S. residents age 18 or older.)
More steps you can take to support men in your workforce
In Shatter the Stigma: How Employers Can Support Men’s Mental Health Needs, Joel Axler MD, FAPA, National Behavioral Health Leader, Brown & Brown, shares employer recommendations to create a workplace environment that reinforces and strengthens mental health strategies and support for men. He suggests the following steps to help you build an effective infrastructure and resources to provide a healthy and productive workplace:
- Regularly take a mental health pulse
Proactively set up a variety of touchpoints to collect data and identify warning signs and gauge overall well-being. These strategies can include periodic employee surveys (polls, questionnaires) to help you understand stress levels and mental health challenges and triggers. Use a trusted third-party consultant to collect data and assuage any confidentiality concerns employees may have and encourage candid responses.
- Connect on a human level
To supplement employee surveys, encourage managers to have informal check-ins with their employees to gain insight into how they’re feeling and identify subtle changes in behavior. Their personal relationships with members of their team open up opportunities to invite employees to share information about workloads and other topics related to their well-being. Make sure to offer mental health training for managers that includes how to recognize signs of stress and burnout, provide support during a mental health crisis, and help navigate employees to available and appropriate mental health resources, such as the organization’s employee assistance program or flexible work arrangements.
- Foster an open and supportive culture
Go a step further than talking about mental health and demonstrate your organization’s commitment to the health and well-being of employees. Foster an environment in which seeking help isn’t shameful but instead a way to unlock potential and greater career growth without risking judgment by others.
Axel recommends encouraging organization leaders to share their personal mental health stories and modeling acceptance and empathy. Another strategy is promoting positive public role models who help demystify men’s mental health and advocate for therapy. Supporting this culture, Axel says employers should implement benefits that improve navigation, accessibility, and affordability of mental health care, including mindfulness and meditation programs, mental health days, and peer support groups for men.
About Calm Health
Calm Health is an evidence-based, configurable mental health digital solution that guides individuals to the right support and keeps them engaged along the way. Screening tools along with self-reported goals, interests, and conditions, inform a personalized plan with recommendations for clinical programs that support health conditions, life experiences, and occupational challenges, plus Calm’s meditation and wellness library.
